Running is nothing if not a journey and on every journey you should learn something new about yourself. I am no different and have found out lately that no matter how long or how fast I run, I am never going to be able to outrun my demons.
I don’t hide the fact that I live with anxiety and depression. I may not announce it when I walk into a room, but I have given up trying to pretend that my brain is wired the same way most people’s are. For a long time, diet and exercise were enough to keep symptoms in check, but lately that is not the case. A lot of life changes and circumstances have sent me into a tailspin. Even with adding medication back into the mix, I admit I have been struggling. The first thing I let slide was diet and exercise, probably because I thought that medication alone could fill the gap.
Let me admit, right now, I was wrong. The last few weeks I have realized this, especially as I try to get back into a regular schedule of working out, as well as getting my diet back on track. It isn’t easy. My brain is pre-wired to point out how behind I am in in my fitness as compared to where I used to be. Or it screams at me that other coping mechanisms (hello a nice glass bottle of wine) are so much easier (and tastier). But I am determined to outrun those demons. It’s not going to be easy, but it is going to happen.
I do know some demons can’t be outrun and running is not going to fix all the problems that I face. But hopefully tired muscles and a tired mind can handle those demons a little better.
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